Why Did We Get Married?
by LoveandLearn
Summary: Derek has to help his daughter adjust to a new life without her mother. Everything is going as well as can be expected until she shows up. Mer/Der at first.
1. Chapter 1

Takes place at the beginning of season 2. Addison never cheated on Derek. He leaves her because he's tired of the way she acts toward their daughter. He hates that she's not family oriented so he takes their daughter and goes to Seattle where he meets Meredith. All is going well until Addison comes into town for a brief case.

* * *

"Your hair is different." she said, her voice barely above a whisper

"A lot of things are different." Derek shot back coldly, looking at her as if he wouldn't care if she get shot and kill in front of him at that second.

"It's longer, I like it. It's very Russell Crowe."she said reaching out to run her fingers through his hair. There was a point right after they had gotten married that he stopped getting haircuts because he loved the feeling he got when his wife ran her hands through it. He flinched the second she touched him and she pulled away, not wanting to push too many buttons.

"What are you doing here?" he inquired.

"What are you doing here? You pick up and leave everything. Your house, your practice, you friends. You had a life in Manhattan."

"Had." he emphasized specifically.

"And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle." she took a short pause, because pretending that none of this was getting to her too all the effort and strength she had. "She seems...sweet."

He continued to look at her with nothing but passionate hate. "The ice you're on, thin."

"She's young. That whole wide eyed 'Ooh, he's a brain surgeon' thing happening but still sweet. Which is what you were going for, right? The Anti-Addison?"

"Maybe I was just looking for someone to be an actual mother to my child, ever thought of that." he answered, catching her off guard. "You've brought up everything else and you still haven't even asked me about her. And in every single message you've left... you didn't ask about her once." he reminded.

"You listened to the messages?" she asked in a little bit of a state of shock. She assumed he would delete them the second he found out they were from her.

"Sure did, even saved a few because _my_ daughter would often complain about missing her mother... and apparently the voice calmed her." he put a noticeable strain on the word 'my' only because in all honestly, Addison could not be less of a mother to the child in question.

"Don't do this to me." she plead in a whisper.

"I cannot even tell you what I want to do to you right now, Addison. Stop acting like you are the victim in this. You wanna know who the victim is? Not you, not me...that child."

She sighed, looked into his eyes and said, "How many times can we talk about this? How many times are you gonna look at me, tell me how horrible I am."

"As many times as it takes." he answered firmly. "And so far, it doesn't look like you're understanding any of it."

She didn't say anything, she couldn't. She looked away from him, redirecting her gaze at the ground and walked away. That defiantly did not go as well as she had hoped. She walked into the bathroom, looked herself in the mirror and took a breath. She wasn't there for anything personal. She was gonna do her job and leave.

The second she opened the door to Richard's hospital room she wished she could turn back. She saw her daughter jump of the bed and run toward her, wrapping herself around her mother's leg.

"Mommy!" she screamed in excitement. Addison let out of a breath, and looked down at the child. "I missed you... Daddy said you would never come."

She slowly kneeled down to be at eye level with the child. "Will you do Mommy a favor and go find Daddy for me? He should be somewhere on this floor." she asked. No 'Hi', no hug, no affection, no softness whatsoever.

Richard watched the little girl run out of the room with the biggest smile on her face. Then he curiously looked up at her mother. "What was that?" he asked

"It's... I.... I just can't." was the only thing she managed to say to express herself.

"She's your daughter, Addison. What can't you?" he pressed, not letting go of the subject like she thought he would.

"Can we please not talk about this?" she asked as the door opened. Her daughter, Allie was dragging her father in behind her. He saw Addison sitting on the bed with her arms crossed and stared at her. Richard could almost physically feel the room get colder. Addison got up, picked up her coat and walked out of the room, she could tell when she was unwanted and she wasn't got to stay and inflict anymore than what already had been forced.

"What is she doing here?" he asked strictly, picking his daughter up into his arms.

"What was that?" Richard asked, a little confused my the scene. "I didn't think.... I always thought she would make an excellent mother. She's amazing with kids."

"Not her's though." he answered. "She's Satan, Richard. I'm telling you..."

"She's here for business, Derek! From what I saw, it doesn't look like anything personal is going to happen."

* * *

Addison walked into her hotel room, dropping her stuff on the bed. She crashed down onto the mattress and curled up, holding her pillow tightly. When did everything become so complicated? She was thrilled when she found out she was pregnant but as soon as their daughter was born, something changed. The second Addison got to hold her, she looked down into this new born child's eyes and that's the second it started. She distanced herself from her husband and daughter, as far as she possibly could. She didn't intend on being a horrible mother, but that's how things ended up. And now, it was too late to change any of that. Now everything was fake and harsh between her and the 4 and a half year old.

* * *

Derek tucked his daughter into bed, after having read her favorite story for the third time. She still refused to close her eyes and go to sleep. She looked up curiously.

"When is Mommy coming?" she asked. She had seen her mother, no one could deny that. That meant that her mother had come to be a part of their family again, right?

"She's not." he answered. "Go to sleep."

"Is she mad at me? Did I do something bad, Daddy?" Allie asked, sitting up in her bed only to have her father ease her back down.

Derek sighed, what was he suppose to tell her? "Your mother is always mad at everyone, you didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart. Get that idea out of your head." he answered.

"Then why does she hate me?" she inquired, leaving Derek speechless.

Now what was he suppose to say. 'I'm sorry, honey, but your mother is a fucking bitch who hates her own daughter.' He just continued to stare into his daughter's eye which to his misfortune were like looking right into Addison's. "Go to sleep, Allie." he repeated one more time, placing a kiss on her forehead and turned off the lights, leaving her alone to wonder about her question hoping she would forget it and fall asleep.

* * *

To Be Continued...  
Please Review

Really wanna know what you think. Writing Addison as a mother this horrible is new for me. Curious to know what everyone thinks of it. Would you want her to come around?

Btw. This story is about 4 or 5 parts so it's not going to be too long. Hope to have the whole thing posted by Christmas depending on your opinions of it.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Derek stood beside his wife in the elevator and didn't say anything to her. He had already taken their daughter by Richard because he hated being alone in that hospital room and he adored Allie, like anyone who met her.

They both walked off at the same floor and Derek went straight for Meredith while Addison walked pasted them to go change.

"Something has got to be wrong with her mentally." Meredith suggested as her figured disappeared into the attending locker room.

"There is something wrong with her physically and mentally.... and every other way." Derek answered. "I don't know what to do around her, you don't know how much it's taking our of me to not swing out and fucking beat her."

"Don't beat your wife." Meredith exclaimed smacking his arm. "No matter how horrible she is. Just divorce her, she's obviously not gonna fight for custody."

"What about you? We're in a relationship and I have Allie to think about."

"I don't mind Allie." Meredith answered. "I'm late for rounds and you know how Bailey is." she smiled slightly and walked away.

* * *

Addison walked out of her patient's room in recovery. She was leaning against the nurse's station filling in a chart when she felt someone wrap around her legs. She took a deep breath and turned her attention to the child. She closed her eyes for a second before sinking down to eye level.

"Did you save the baby?" she asked innocently before Addison could say anything. Her father had told her that her mother saved little tiny babies everyday, that's why she was always working.

Her mother however, did not answer. "Allie, you saw that I was busy... you know that I'm working. You know you're not suppose to bother me." she stated not very harshly but then again it wasn't as kindly as a mother would talk to her child.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, looking away.

"Where are you suppose to be right now?" she asked the toddler.

"With Uncle Richard... " she maintain a low broken voice while her mother remained stern.

"Then go there before you get in anymore trouble." she ordered, rising from her position and going back to what she was doing. From the corner of her eye she could see the little girl walking away and it broke her heart. But she didn't know what else she could do.

"Why is Satan such a bitch?" she heard Cristina ask one of the nurses. She pretended that she didn't and went about her day.

* * *

Meredith placed her tray beside Derek's and sat down next to him in the cafeteria.

"Guess who my attending is today?" she asked, with a look of exhaustion.

"Um, I have a few ideas but you could narrow things down for me a little." he answered.

"Your wife." she replied spitefully while she twisted the cap

He looked up and smirked. "Well I am very very sorry about that. I promise I'll make it up to you...somehow"

"Why did you marry her? Is it cause she's hot? Cause that's the only thing she's got going for her, that and her money."

"I don't know why I married her Meredith. We were young and at the time it seemed like a Fairytale. Then things just... started falling apart. It didn't seem so natural anymore." he explained while she lingered on his every word.

"When did they fall apart?"

"Right after Allie was born." he answered and swallowed the food he was chewing to tell her the story. "I don't even know what happened, she was so thrilled when she found out we were having a baby, I'll never forget the look on her face. She was so happy, Mer. But like right after she was born, Addison's enthusiasm died. She never got out of bed, she didn't move, she didn't want to do anything. At first I thought it was just postpartum depression but it wasn't. Like two weeks later, she got up and went to work. She would spend all day at work, sometimes she's stay overnight. And over time she grew more and more distant...until I left her."

"Why did you leave her?"

"Because I couldn't take it anymore! She doesn't care about her own daughter. She never shows an interest. I didn't want her doing that to Allie. She's just a kid, she deserves better."

"But Allie idolizes her." Meredith answered. "Even if she has been a horrible mother, Allie wants _her. _She doesn't just want some woman to be her mother, she wants Addison to be her mother."

"Yeah, that's the problem. I don't know what to do about that. I can't tell her that her mother doesn't care about her." Derek answered. "Will you do me a favor?" he asked, Meredith nodded.

"Sure."

"I have to go scrub in, and it's a long surgery. I won't be out for a while. In like two..three hours will you get Allie from Richard and take her to get something to eat."

"Yeah, I will." she promised, watching Derek get up and throw everything on his tray away. He smiled and her and retreated into the building.

Two hours and a half hours later Allie was standing beside Meredith by the nurse's station while Meredith was explaining something to a patient's husband. Addison was a couple feet away, sitting on a rolling chair and talking on the phone to a lab about having mixed up blood test results.

She knew that Allie was right there but didn't want to react. But when she turned to place the chart back where it belonged she caught her daughter's eye and she couldn't look away. Like an unexplainable instinct she grabbed the child and pulled her down onto her lap and brought her over the trash can just as vomit emerged from her mouth. Addison held her securely with one arm so she couldn't fall off her lap and rubbed circles onto her back with the other.

"Why is my daughter vomiting blood?" she asked Meredith "And why are there blue pellets in it?"

"That's um... rat poison."

"Rat poison?" Addison repeated, still holding onto her daughter as she continued to throw up.

"She must have ate that this morning while Derek and I were getting ready. We put one in her room because we suspected...rats or mice or something."

"Smart." Addison replied sarcastically as Allie sat up and tucked her head into her mother's neck. She continued to heave for a second in Addison's arms with watery eyes, like any child who had just thrown up. Addison continued trying to sooth her and look to a nurse standing beside her. "Get a gurney here. Meredith, Karev was assigned to PIT, call him up here. He and Yang need to go through this and count how many pellets are in here." she ordered calmly, with panicked child in her arms.

"You want them to go through her vomit?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Addison shot back with obvious anger in her tone.

A minute later Meredith asked "Should I page Derek and tell him that she just threw up all that blood?" looking into the trash can as she pushed it out of the way. Addison nodded.

"I'm sorry." Allie whispered into her mothers ear.

"It's okay, Al, you're okay. Everything will be fine." she promised and went on rubbing her back as gently as possible until Allie fell asleep 2 minutes later.

When he gurney arrived Addison got up carefully with Allie in her arms. She placed her down on the gurney. "Get her to the ER ASAP and the second she gets there give her Ipecac, get every last pellet out of her."

Meredith nodded and went with Allie, knowing a 4 year old would be afraid of being alone but Addison didn't. She'd already acted impulsively without thinking, she couldn't screw it up anymore.

* * *

Derek arrived in the ER and saw asleep on a hospital bed while Meredith's held on to her hand as a nurse tried to start an IV. "What happen?" he asked.

"I don't know! She was fine! She was standing by me and she was fine." she answered. "Next thing I knew, Addison grabbed her just in time to get her to the trash can and she barfed up more blood then I'd ever seen."

"Blood?" he repeated. Throwing up blood in a large quantity was never anything good. "Is she gonna be okay? Have they ordered any tests yet? What's going on?"

"Here's were things get a little complicated." Meredith sighed. "The attending for peds is on maternity leave and Allie needs a consult.. The temp for these two days is your wife. And as you may have guessed, she's refusing to come down here. She sent her resident who did a CAT scan and an MRI which showed that she had been bleeding into her stomach. They had her clotting meds and now the wounds clotted."

"Why would she be bleeding into her stomach? That's a problem."

"She swallowed 67 pellets of rat poison. And the kinda she had causes internal bleeding which eventually kills the rat. She threw it all up, there are no more in her. " she explained as the resident explained to her.

"Okay..." he nodded, although none of it made sense to him. "Addison gave her the rat poison didn't she?"

"No... we put it in her room remember? Those tiny blue rock things in the black dispenser behind the dresser. She must have gotten to it this morning. Addison was actually.... maternal."

"Shit.. I didn't think she would eat that!"

"They are taking her to Peds right now. She'll have to stay over night for a transfusion and to make sure she's okay."

Derek looked over his sleeping daughter for a second. Contemplating what to do. "You think she'll be out for the night?" he asked. Meredith nodded knowing Allie must exhausted. "Okay, I guess we could go back to the trailer or something... I'll have someone page me just in case she wakes up."

* * *

Addison stood in the doorway watching the little girl sleep. She hesitantly went inside and sat by the bed. She ended up staying the entire night, not falling asleep for even a single minute. All she could do was watch her daughter and regret her entire life, from beginning till the present. Around 6 am she looked at her watch, realizing she was going to miss the flight. She got up and leaned in to give her daughter a kiss. As she turned to walk out she saw Derek standing there and watching her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "If they discover cyanide was injected into her IV, should I be suspicious? I mean Meredith mention something about you being maternal but I have a hard time believing it. Can you blame me? I'll believe it when I see it."

Addison smiled to hide the stabbing pain she felt when he said that. "My flight is in an hour, I just wanted to make sure she was okay." she answered.

"Oh." he looked at her, noticing her clothes. "Didn't you wear that yesterday?" there was a paused while he looked into her eyes. "You haven't slept, you've been here all night... with her?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." she answered. "I have to go."

He stood in the doorway, blocking her exit. "What do I tell her? That Mommy just disappeared?"

"Derek, you can never understand how I feel about her." she sighed, wishing he would let her go.

"Why don't you tell me? Because you've never done that before."

Addison looked into his eyes and tried not to seem weak. "I'm doing this for her. Because I love her so much that I don't want to hurt her."

"You are hurting her!"

"She's four, Derek. If I leave now and never turn back she won't remember me. You and I can get divorced, you can marry Meredith and Allie will have the type of mother she deserves."

"What makes you so sure that Meredith would be such a great mother?"

"I don't know, I'm sure she can do better than I can, anyone can do better than I can.. All I know is that if I don't do this... if I was to be involved and present, I would ruin her childhood, her adolescence... her entire life. I would be the same way my mom was and I don't want my child to suffer that. I want everything for her, Derek. I want her to be happy, I love her just as much, maybe even more than you do. I am sacrificing my happiness for hers. Because nothing would make me as happy as I would be to be able to hold her and... be in her life, but that would hurt her... everyday of her life and I don't want that."

"Addison..." he tried to stop her but she cut him off.

"That's my reason for all of this okay? And I'm sorry for everything it's cause you and everything it's cause her." she paused "I felt horrible after she threw up yesterday, I wanted to do something to make her feel better. So I went to the Disney Story at the Bellevue Mall and I got her a Pooh teddy bear. I remember she used to love Pooh."

"She does..." he answered. Noticing the stuffed animal sitting on one of the chairs in the corner of the room. "She really loves you despite everything, you know that right? She asks about you every single day, and after sunset she stands outside waiting to see the first star and says 'Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight... I wish Mommy comes tonight.' Then she waits and you never come and she falls asleep asking if she could at least see you in her dreams."

"I'm sorry." she repeated.

"Do you have your perfume with you?" he asked. She looked at him as if he were insane and took it out of her purse, handing it to him. Christian Dior, Poison (ironically) The signature Addison scent. He showered the bear she had bought in the perfume and gave it back to her. "This way I could at least prove to her that you were here."

She smiled. "I need to know what happens to her, email me or text or something, whatever is most convenient?" It wasn't a demand. It was more like a plea and Derek couldn't help but agree.

"After she gets discharged, I will."

"I signed the discharge papers... just in case the next temp doesn't actually show up like the one before me didn't. But if you feel she's not ready to go home, don't take her. Have a resident do another round of MRIs to make sure everything is okay." she advised. "And on a completely separate note, email a few pictures of her every once in a while."

"I will... anything else?" he asked curiously.

"That's it. Just stop feeding her curiosity about me, make her hate me... if I've failed at doing that myself. Let her forget me, the sooner the better. I'll send divorce papers as soon as I can. And when Meredith or whoever you marry is ready to adopt...call me and I'll sign." she added. Unable to remove her eyes from her daughter, knowing this was the last time she would see her. Tears began building up and she couldn't take it anymore. "I have to go...bye." she looked to him and back to their daughter before walking out.

That was it. She'd go back to New York, they would divorce and Derek would one day remarry and their daughter would finally have a new mother, an actual mother. And Allie would forget about her real mother and it would be like she never even existed. The only problem was that she couldn't stop crying. Her failures as a mother, a wife were now a reality because now she had closure. She knew it was all over and she knew it was all because of her. She asked for it.

* * *

To Be Continued  
So there was Addison's reasoning for her behavior. Opinions? Review :D


	3. Chapter 3

Allie opened her eyes to see that her father had fallen asleep sitting in the chair beside her with his head on her bed. She reached out to his arm and nudges him. He groaned, opened his eyes and sat up with a yawn.

"It smells like Mommy." was the first thing she said. She didn't ask if she was okay, she didn't care where she was or what was happening.

"Yeah, cause she was here." he answered and got the Pooh bear from the chair it was on, passing it to her. "She got that for you."

"It smells like her..."she repeated, hugging the Disney character tightly. She loved Pooh, he was her favorite Disney characters. Even when all the other little kids were obsessed with the princesses, she was in love with Pooh and that never changed. She would watch it every single day until she knew every line. And when Addison would get home someone time in the middle of the night and find her daughter asleep with the movie still playing on the TV she picked up on the obsession.

"You feeling better?" he asked. She nodded although he was sure she didn't even hear his question. She was too in love with her bear to pay attention to anything else. If he didn't ask her about her condition there was no way she was going to be diverted from that bear long enough to realize she was in a hospital.

"Is she still here?"she asked hopefully. After all, she hadn't actually talk to her yet. She hadn't even gotten an actual 'Hi' yet or a hug, unless you were to count those few minutes she spent in her mother's arms after throwing up.

"No, baby. She left this morning. She's on a plane back home to New York right now." he answered regretfully knowing that it was going to depress his daughter. Her mother was there for two days and she never got to see her long enough to tell her how much she missed her.

"Why? She's Mommy... she had to live with us. Mommies have to live with the Daddies...and the babies."

"Right, cept for now Meredith is gonna be your Mommy. You like her, right?" he asked hopefully without even discussing it with her.

"Mhmm, but she can't be my mommy. Meredith is...different. My Mommy needs to have red hair and she needs to be taller than Meredith and she needs to like really pretty, high shoes and she needs to be a little bit prettier and she needs 'sexier' clothes and she needs to save babies! And she gots to know how to do the thing with her eyes... like Mommy does when someone says something stupid."

"That's a pretty tough letter of demands. I'm pretty sure there is only one person alive like that. You have to learn to adjust, okay?"

"And Meredith can't be my Mommy cause I already have a Mommy and I want her to be my Mommy."

"She's gone, kid. You have to learn to accept that." Derek replied, not trying to act mean or uncaring, that was just the simple fact of the ways things were. There was nothing he could do to change that, no matter how much he wanted to. in reality, it wasn't Allie alone who had to accept the fact that Addison was gone, so did he. After discovering the truth aout her, he could himself thinking about her every second he could. Wondering how long that had been her concern and why he hadn't known earlier.

"When's she's coming back?"

"I'm not sure, Al, chances are, she's not going to."

"But I didn't even get to say bye before she went back..." she pouted, hugging her bear.

* * *

After putting Allie to bed, and answering her nightly questions(about her mother, of course) Derek went downstairs and sat by Meredith who was reading some article on her laptop.

"Addison left." he said casually to strike up a conversation between himself and his girlfriend. He knew that Meredith was not fond of Addison's visit and was anxious about her departure.

She looked at him and smiled briefly before going back to the article. "Congratulations."

"She said she would send me divorce papers as soon as she could." he went on, leaving out the part about the adoption. "She's really not that bad. She spent all night in Allie's room. She missed her flight and caught the one this morning.. .Richard told me she was suppose to leave on the red eye but she still there in the morning. I assume she missed her original flight for Al. And she got her that pooh bear that she's not putting down.... she was really... different."

"Wanna go back to her?" Meredith asked, almost sarcastically with spite.

"You don't get it Mer. You had to see her... she was gonna cry at the end. But she didn't want me to see that so she left."

"What don't I get, Derek? This morning you tell me all about how horrible she's been and now you're telling me how cute she is." she was confused. One second Derek paints her to be this horrible woman and know he is saying the opposite.

"I never used the word." he replied. "But know that you mention it... it was kinda cute.. In a pathetic way. She just gave up her daughter, Meredith. It could not have been easy... to be that selfless and do that.. I couldn't."

"Selfless? What are you talking about Derek? Are we even talking about the same woman? What did she tell you this morning?" Meredith wondered, folding down the screen of her computer and looking curiously at Derek.

"She spent all night with Allie and when I got there she was leaving for her flight and she was kissing her goodbye. And she saw me and told me how sorry she was for everything. She says the reason she hasn't showed commitment to Allie is because she knows she would make a horrible mother. She knows she'll end up scarring her kids like her mother did to her, so she left. She said that there is nothing more that she would want than to be able to be mother her own child but she wants what best for Allie and she knows she's not the best. She wants Allie to have more than what she can give. And that's is selfless in my eyes okay? She's miserable. She has no one, she just walked out of here and gave up the only family she has... to you."

"Are you saying that I'm her replacement or something?" Meredith asked. "Because none of this makes sense to me."

"No! You're not. I just feel bad because now... she's got no one." he answered. "She's alone, no family what so ever."

"Oh my god, you're still in love with her!" Meredith accused

"What?" Derek asked, going over the idea in his head. Maybe he did still love her, she is his wife, they had been together for a ridiculously long time. He couldn't just forget her that easily.

"You are still in love with her! This is all a little too twisted. She's a bitch to her kid because she wants the best. Her husband who left realized he still loves her because she was being a bitch for all the right reason. Now what? You gonna sign those divorce papers and marry me so your kid gets a mother. Because I refuse to be a replacement."

"Meredith, when did I ever say you were a replacement?"

"You don't have to say it! Everything about you says it! Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"We've only been together a couple months. I can't answer that question."

"You told me you knew you were in love with Addison the second you saw her. You said you believe in love at first sight. So a couple months is more than enough, wouldn't you say?"

"I uh.."

"Exactly, Derek! You 'Uh'. You don't 'uh' Addison. You love her, you love everything about her. And you're not even trying to hide that right now. Something is wrong with your family. Your wife's messed up, you're messed up which obviously means your kid is messed up. And I'm caught in the middle of the three of you."

"You're not caught in the middle!" Derek shouted. "I told you the second we met that I come with baggage. And you were fine with that. You knew exactly what you were getting into. So don't go off making yourself anymore sane than my family. "

"Derek, this is over. I am not a replacement, I am not a mannequin or something that can just fill in and not have a say."

"So leave." he suggested, shrugging his shoulders to suggest that he wouldn't care if she did.

"This is my house!" Meredith screamed louder than anyone had ever heard her causing Derek to jump. He got to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Fine, I'll go get Allie up right now and we'll get out of your hair." he said calmly, walking upstairs to get his daughter.

* * *

Months later Allie was being tucked into a tiny bed in a trailer in the middle of a forest.

"I hate this." she whined, "It's too small."

"Well, this is all we have right now Allie. You have to make do." Derek answered while he set a mug onto the counter beside the coffeemaker. "It's past your bed time just so you know."

"How come you can have tea but I can't."

"Because I'm older than you by about.... 30 years. And this isn't tea it's coffee." Derek answered. "So stop complaining. I'm working on it. We'll manage, I'll think of something."

"What if you can't?" Allie nagged, siting up in bed able to see her father in the kitchen. "What about Mommy? I need Mommy... all little girl need Mommies."

"No they don't. Cinderella didn't have a mommy, Snow White didn't have a mommy. Little Mermaid didn't even have a stepmother."

"But... I want mine."

Derek sign. He was tired of going through the same thing everyday. He couldn't bring himself to explain this to her...again. "Look, Allie... I know you love your Mom but she can't be here with all all the time like a regular mom can. She's got a lot to do, she's like a...secret agent type doctor. She's always busing doing secret things to help lots and lots of babies. Get it? That's why we can't keep demanding for her to come here."

"That's not true! I saw her while she was here, she was like all the other doctors, nothing secret agent about her." she pouted. There was nothing Allie Shepherd hated more than being lied to. She considered herself a big girl and she didn't think anyone would lie to big girls. "Just tell me the truth, Daddy. She doesn't like me. I did something wrong, she hates me and she doesn' want me. That's why she's not here. Not because of some stupid 'secret agent' nonsense."

Derek sighed, took a deep breath and then stopped his daughter from rambling. "She doesn't hate you." he told her calmly. "You've done nothing wrong and she doesn't hate. It's not that she doesn't want you, she does. There is nothing she wants more. She just can't be with us." he replied.

"But why?!" Allie whined. Hearing that only made her more furious. If her mother did love and care for them why wasn't she there. She didn't understand it. "I don't get it, Daddy. She's so confusing. If she acts like she hates me than how can she love me."

"She acted like she hated you so you could hate her, that obviously did not work well. We wants you to be happy Al. She knows she'll be a bad Mommy and she doesn't want to hurt you like that, she wants you to have a better Mommy. She wants you to have the best of everything."

"But she's the best Mommy. And she's the only thing that will make me happy." Allie replied. Derek sighed, kissing his daughter's forehead while pulling the blanket over her waist to her shoulders so she would be warm all night. It was December in Seattle and that wasn't exactly known for how warm it was. He didn't need to add on to his worries with a sick child.

"We're gonna work this all out, kid. You and me...we'll take care of this." he promised, knowing that's all she wanted to hear. She smiled and turned onto her side, quickly falling asleep only to dream about the obvious.

* * *

One more part coming up soon.  
Let me know what you thought of this chapter :)  
Everyone wanted a happy ending right? Cause the ending is pretty damn happy.


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay, Allie. We've got to talk." Derek stated in a firm yet loving tone. He picked his daughter up and placed her one kitchen table of the trailer.

"About what?" she asked curiously, looking up into her father's eyes. He sounded a little more angry than he usually did which wasn't too comforting for her. "By the way... Santa sucks. I didn't get what I asked for!" she whined.

"What did you ask for?"

"I can't tell you... Santa might hear and I don't want him to think I'm ungrateful." she pulled her father closer and leaned into his ear, cupping her hands around her lips so it was only between them. "I asked for Mommy." she whispered.

"You still wanna go see Mommy?" he asked. She simply nodded. She had always wanted to go visit her mother. She had been begging Derek for that ever since they left New York, almost a year ago now. "So here's what we're going to do, we are gonna surprise her for the day after tomorrow. We might even be able to make it before twelve to watch the ball drop on TV."

"We're going to New York?" Allie brow rose in a classic expression that would make her undistinguishable from her mother.

"We are moving back to New York... to the old house to be with Mommy again."

"But if we go there, where is she gonna go to get away from me?" she asked innocently, still under the impression that Addison would leave just because she'd get fed up of her daughter.

"She won't have to leave. She wants to be with you as much as she can, but her job is there and she can quit to come here. But Daddy has a job here and there. If I quit here, I can still go there and pick up where I left off. Get it?" he explained.

Allie nodded. "So we're gonna move there forever?"

"Mhmm. But don't worry, we'll have all your stuff from here shipped out there." he reassured, knowing that that would be her biggest concern.

* * *

Two days later, just after midnight Derek was banging on the door of the brownstone. None of the lights were on and he suspected that his wife was probably at work or some party. He continued banging on the door then turned to his daughter. "Let's go check the hospital. She should be there." he suggest. Allie nodded and took her father's hand while her father used his key to get into the house. He opened the door and began looking for the key, simultaneously noticing that nothing about the house had changed. He quickly found it, grabbed his daughter and took her into the garage, strapping her into a booster seat and pulling out of the driveway toward the hospital.

Once they got there, he parked in his spot, right beside his wife. It was clearly marked "Dr. Derek Shepherd." He got out of the car and took Allie, they both walked into the building and Derek went by a nurse's station he could swear never exsisted. He looked at all the strange new staff and wondered how much could have changed while he was gone. "Hi, um, could you tell me where Dr. Shepherd is?" he asked

"Who?" the young receptionist asked.

"Um.. Dr. Shepherd. Addison." He clarified. "She a surgeon here..."

"Right, I like...don't know. I'm a volunteer for like, tonight only so like... yeah." she answered. She as a typical teenage girl that Derek wanted to shoot.

"Okay, well, here's like what you're going to do. You are like going to like find her and then you're like gonna tell her that her husband is like here. You know what, never mind. I see her." he picked up Allie and walked toward Addison who was in the waiting room talking to a man and a young teenage boy. Derek could only assume it was about the mother. He stood off, watching as Addison explained to the family the condition.

"Can we see her?" the boy asked.

"Yeah, of course you can. Tell them over at the nurse station and someone will escort you to recovery." she smiled, noticing Derek in the corner. Her patients family began walking away and approached her instead. "Hey." he said softly, kissing her lips and wrapping his arms around her scrub clad body.

"Hi." she whispered mid kiss. They had been become intimate via long phone calls every night and agreed to try to work things out but Addison had no idea that Derek was in New York, not did she know he was planning on staying.

"Hey, sweetheart." Addison knelt down, attempting to take her daughter into her arms only to be rejected.

"Drop the attitude, Allie." Derek warned. After hearing her father's warning she immediately melted into her mother's embrace.

"I missed you." Addison told her daughter while she hoisted her up onto her hip and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I misseded you, too." Allie whispered into Addison's ear after she dropped her head on her shoulder. It wasn't often that Allie would make errors in her speech. But every time she did, her parents loved it. It was a reminded that she's 30 trapped in a toddler's body. She's a child and she's still got a lot to learn. "I wanna go to sleep." she went on to whine.

"I'm sure you do. It's way past your bedtime, even in west coast time." Addison answered, looking at her watch. "Let me go change and we can go home and put her to bed."

He waited in the lobby until she came out of the locker room. Then he took his daughter's hand while she mother took the other and they walked out of the building together toward the two parked cars.

"You drove?" Addison asked.

"Yeah..." he replied, seeing one of his old interns walk out of the building. He took the keys from Addison and turned to the entrance. "Johnson get your ass over here." he ordered. The resident came running.

"Dr. Shepherd, you're back. Great to see you."

"Right. Have you ever driven a Maserati?" he asked, handing him the key. "Go out, have fun. Damage it and I'll kill you. I expect that back by dawn leave keys in mailbox, remember where I live?"

"I do. Thanks." he answered.

"There we go." Derek smiled, opening the door of his Bentley for his wife. Allie got in herself, tying herself in while Addison watched carefully to make sure she was safe. Derek got into the drivers seat and drove him in New York New Years traffic. It was way past twelve and they had missed the count down and everything but this was still the best new years they'd had in a while.

By the time they got home Allie had fallen asleep. Derek unlocked the front door while Addison took their daughter out of the car. She came into the house with the child cradled in her arms.

"Okay, do we still have clothes left here cause I need a shower?" he asked curiously. "Our stuff won't be in for a few more days and we didn't bring anything other than what we've got on."

She nodded, "All you stuff is in your closet... in our room. Everything should be clean cause you know that I'm OCD and when things start to get dusty... I wash them. And she's still got a lot of stuff here, I'm not sure how much of it will fit but it takes up a closet almost as big as mine. I'll change her, she can't possibly sleep comfortably in like this." she continued up the stairs and Derek followed behind her, turning into the master bedroom while she went on toward their daughter's room. He showered and changed, stepping out of the bathroom in time to see Addison coming into the room.

"Did you say your stuff is gonna be here in a few days?" she asked in a little confusion.

"Mhmm." he answered, pulling a white t-shirt over his head.

"As in all your stuff?"

"Everything that I initially took. Didn't buy much from there." he answered.

"So you're moving back?" she asked slowly. Not wanting to seem too excited, yet not wanted to seem hesitant.

"Yup...surprise." Derek replied, watching the smile grow on his wife's face. She jumped into his arms in excitement, causing him to fall back on the bed with a smile on his own face. "I take it you're happy about this?"

"I'm thrilled!" she squealed. "I get my family! That's the only thing I could ever ask for."

"Should have taken it as a sign when you never got back those divorce papers you sent. You said that the balls was in my court."

"I did."

"How do you feel this match turned out?" he asked, continuing to use tennis terms.

"Very well."

"As in like... 40- Love."

"Love means zero in tennis." Addison replied, not sure if he knew that fact. But she had been forced to take tennis long enough during her childhood to know that.

"Whatever, it sounds good. We can totally play tennis and be like 'love-love' a neck to neck game if you know what I mean." he winked as he got beneath the covers of the bed. "I forgot how comfortable this mattress was." he settled closer to his wife and put an arm around her waist. Feeling her legs tangled with his.

"Don't get too comfortable. You left the bathroom light on. And the light in your closet."

"Joy Kill." he mumbled, getting up to turn off the lights.

"And leave the bedroom door open, and make sure Allie's door is open too. Make sure there is a little bit of light in the hall just incase she gets up. She hasn't been here in a while and I don't want her to feel lost in the middle of the night."

"Aw, isn't that cute? Mommy's concerned." Derek cooed as he turn on a dim light in the hall and left their bedroom door half way open.

"Okay, her door is open, dim lights on in the hall. Our door is half open, bathroom and closet lights off, anything else?" he asked, because once he got into bed he was not going to get back out. "

"That's it." she answered.

He crawled back into bed and got back into the same position. "Ya know, this whole maternal..ness is really hot. Very big turn on." he mumbled and followed it with a yawn. He tried to stay up by kissing the back of her neck but both quickly falling asleep, despite the fact that it was just past 2 am on New Years Eve.

Two hours later Allie screamed and a few seconds later a splash was heard. She began screaming for her father who was too deep asleep to hear her. Instead Addison's eyes jolted opened and she got up and ran to her daughter's room, noticing the empty bed.

"Allie?" Addison called out, not wanting to get too worried too soon. Because she knew if she got too worried, she'd become hysterical and would not be able to help her

"Mommy! I'm stuck." she heard her daughter scream in terror from the bathroom. She took a few steps and turned on a flashlight hidden beneath the sink, balancing it on the counter to illuminate the room.

The light had gone out and Allie had fallen in the toilet because she panicked.

"The light went out, Al, nothing to worry about. This is New York, that happens." she explained calmly. "Here, hold onto my neck I'll hold the seat down and you can pull yourself up. Think we can manage?" she asked, wiping away her daughters tears. Allie nodded, extending her arms around her mother's neck, she began kicking to free her hips.

"It's not working." she whined.

"Okay, I'll do it. Just hang on tight." she warned, grabbing her daughter beneath her pits, she slowly and gently lifted her up into her arms, not caring that the urine mixed toilet water was dripping on the floor and rubbing off on her. "Let's rinse you off and get you in bed, we'll worry about an actual bath tomorrow."

Allie nodded against her mother's shoulder, yawning as she was placed in a tub and rinsed off with warm water from the waist down. Addison picked her up and wrapped her in a pink towel, which happened to be her favorite despite Addison's knowledge.

"Are all the yucky germs gone?" she asked as her mother dressed her in a warm footsie pajamas. "Cause I don't like germs, they're icky... and Daddy says they'll make me sick. And I don't like being sick."

"Speaking of that, Al. Remember when I came to Seattle?" she asked, her daughter shamefully nodded, already knowing where her mother was going with the question. "Why did you eat the little blue rocks? You had to know you're not suppose to."

"I ate them cause I knew I would get sick." she replied shamefully while looking down at the ground. "And you make sick babies better all the time and you were there... so you would make me better."

Addison took her daughter into her arms, shocked that that's what was going through her mind at the second she decided to eat poison. "But your not a baby, right? You're a big girl."

Allie shook her head and looked up at her mother. "I'm _your _baby." she whispered.

"That's right, you are. I would do anything to make sure you're okay. But you've got to promise me never to eat poison again... no matter what your reason." she answered.

"I promise."

"Okay, good. Now do you wanna get back into bed?"

"No! I don't like being alone in the dark. And that flashlight is scary." she complaining, clinging to Addison even more.

"Okay, what if you spend the night with me and Dad?" she asked, seeing a grin on her daughter's face she took her across the hall into the master bedroom. "And next time it's dark and you need to go to potty let one of us know you so we can help you."

Allie nodded, cuddling beneath the blanket as her mother got in. Allie moved closer to her, pressing against her for warmth. She closed her eye and whispered "Happy New Year." in the air, directing it at both parents.

Addison kept her locked in her arms, while Derek turned over and draped his arm over them. Each parent placing a kiss on either cheek and whispering back, "Happy New Year, sweetheart." at once.

Allie giggled happily before she was finally able to settle down between them and actually fall asleep. Derek tried to keep his eye open long enough to watch his family as long as he could but he couldn't help from dozing off, "Santa did give you your wish, Al. We got Mommy back." he mumbled, unaware that both Allie and Addison were already asleep.

* * *

The End  
How about one last review? Nothing would end 09 better than reading reviews.... wow that makes me sound like I have no life. But let's face it. Reading a review gives me this crazy high feeling.


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